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A polite "excuse me" won’t cut it: here are some ingenious techniques for making a colossal splash, in the real world and the virtual world.

Campaigns just aren’t that great if no one’s heard of them, so the real world section has indispensable titbits on, among other things, becoming an expert in guerrilla marketing; handling the poisoned chalice that is the media; and how and who to lobby.

The virtual world section will teach you how to use the internet for your own ends, like some sort of futuristic God. We’ll show you how to make social networking sites work for you, and how to make a viral video potent enough to infect the whole world in a matter of hours.